I feel a little silly for freaking out yesterday over that website, but it was the latest in a string of incidents that left me feeling spoonless - the straw that killed the camel, so to speak.
I am very happy to inform that it's been fixed, quickly and professionally. And yes, I bought my book.
It's funny, but until recent events (RaceFail, GenderFail, SurveyFail) I really didn't have a grasp on why, exactly, stupid little details caused so much trouble. All my life I'd been told to "lighten up," to allow people to say what they wanted even if it left me feeling like dirt, that it was my fault for being "too sensitive." Now I'm beginning to understand the depth and prevalence of - what? I'm still unsure what to call it. Institutionalized privilege? The sense that society reinforces the stereotypes while simultaneously shutting down anyone who speaks out against those stereotypes.
I'm still learning that no, it has never been my responsibility to lighten up when I am hurting. It has never been a failure of mine that I take issue with things that cause me pain. I am not too sensitive - I am a person with feelings and value and dignity, and because I do not conform in one or more vectors I can expect to be presented with situations that cause discomfort, anxiety, or pain on a more consistent basis than many of my peers.
It IS my responsibility to guard my mental, emotional, and physical health, and to that end I must learn that anger and frustration are not the best reactions. Sure, I'll flip right out if I'm weary and already stressed; but it's my choice to calmly address those things that cause me discomfort rather than just stew on it. And by not stewing on it, I get stronger. I remind myself that it's not a problem with my perceptions, it's a problem that has become an integral part of modern society, and it's not insurmountable.
Today I feel stronger, and my faith in humanity has been boosted. Thank you, bookseller, for being civil and prompt in your action and reply. It means more to me than you might know.